I have been falling in and out of love with Jesus all of my life. As a child my eyes lit up with the mention of his name as memories of this wonderful being drifted in and out of my consciousness.
Brought up as a Baptist, I was no stranger to his teaching via the faith known as Christianity. I attended church and Sunday School on a regular basis and loved to sing all the songs which always moved me to tears. At the age of 8 during a service where they share bread and wine, the minister asked if anyone wanted to dedicate themselves to Christ. And I did.
As I moved into my teens, my days at church on a Sunday declined to almost zero and in my early twenties when I visited church at the behest of my parents I was always left wanting. I felt that there was a great deal of misinterpretation of the WORD. Most of which sought to keep the congregation as worshipers, unaware of their own deep connection with our creator who I shall call GOD. Jesus and GOD were worships as entities outside of self.
I began to look elsewhere for answers to my deep searching questions about my Self and my Purpose. I read many books and attended many workshops, seminars and courses, learning many things of a spiritual nature. This process took over 27 years. I became a Reiki Master/Teacher and Spiritual Response Therapy Practitioner, a PSYCH-K facilitator, a Per-K Catalyst and a healing facilitator. I launched many spiritually based businesses, wrote a book and delivered workshops and seminars on a number of topics.
Throughout my studies and period of growth, I always questioned the validity of Jesus. I never doubted his existence or his well-documented life experiences but was he GOD as Christians often claim? Was he just another prophet as Islam claims? Were the Jewish right about him? Other theories state that he is now called Sanander and exists on another plane as the commander of spaceship another that he is the Master Teacher and another that he is the Head of the Heart Committee and oversees our beloved and abused planet Earth, a.k.a Gaia.
One thing was clear to me. Everyone who is remotely spiritual acknowledges his life, they just can’t seem to agree on his significance or purpose.
As I read the WORD with the intention of getting to the truth, the most important thing that I have learned from Jesus’s life is regarding equality. He never once put himself above humanity, but regarded us all as siblings with the same abilities and birth right as him – as sons and daughters of GOD. He has told us, quite clearly I think, what we need to do to reach our full potential, our Christ consciousness, just as he did. He was born a human and when he was baptised he became Christ, not before. He had many initiations through which he grew to become the Light that he is. I believe these took place between the ages of 12 through 33. There are many stories that during this time he travelled the world learning from great masters in Egypt, India, China and Europe.
When I take the time to really think about the stories we are told and what could and could not be plausible. It is clear to me that Jesus chose the human experience in order to give us hope and to demonstrate what is possible so that we could become better citizens of the planet instead of the pests we had become.
For the past two years my parents, who are devout Christians, who used to pester me to go to church, have come to stay with me for extended periods and have reminded me regularly about our Lord and Saviour. I then went on to meet the most wonderful man in the world, who is also a regular church goer!
Was the universe trying to tell me something?
For a while a questioned why I was being surrounded by this Jesus thing and resisted the badgering to attend church. One day I decided to stop resisting, I gave in and attended and I enjoyed the praise and worship immensely – it was very moving stuff. The crying was still there too.
One of the best teachings for me is “Be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world”. I would follow that with, ‘and so can you if you do as I have told you’. So I try my best and my life has been increasingly filled with JOY. Occasionally I still fall of the wagon, fear doubt and worry grip me but only for a while until I remember who I am – a child of GOD, just like Jesus.
Today I am back in love with ‘J’ which is now my nickname for him. He is my highly accomplished brother who is rooting for me to make it!
I attend church occasionally to get my fix of the highs of the singing and the fellowship is nice too as long as they don’t expect me to regard myself as a sinner who needs saving. I am no longer irritated by the misinterpretations of ministers and congregations because I have my own personal relationship with ‘J’ and I am able to live and let live. I understand that there are many ways to get to the same place and I choose to accept all. I go to church, I practice yoga and I sit with nature.
I recognise the Christ potential in me, I meditate regularly to maintain a joyful vibration. I pray and ask for what I need and I am grateful for all that life brings, no matter what it appears to be at first glance. I try my level best to accept without judgment because I trust in GOD, in the perfection of the universe and therefore understand that there are no mistakes – despite appearances!
I now know that we, everything single thing in this universe, are all part of this great creation, that together we are part of GOD and that just like Jesus, I AM.